Building Intimacy in Marriage Through Prayer Together
Building Intimacy in Marriage Through Prayer Together
The practice of praying together is a significant aspect of building intimacy in marriage, rooted in biblical teachings and supported by various Christian traditions. The apostle Peter advises husbands to "dwell with their wives according to knowledge" to avoid hindering their prayers [1, 3]. This instruction implies that harmony and mutual understanding between spouses are essential for a vibrant prayer life.
In the New Testament, Ephesians 5:19 encourages believers to "speak to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs," fostering a communal and intimate atmosphere in worship. This communal aspect of worship can be applied to the marital relationship, where praying together becomes a means of deepening their bond and spiritual connection [2].
The early Christian tradition emphasizes the importance of prayer in marriage. Origen, as quoted in the Ante-Nicene Fathers, interprets the biblical exhortation to agreement among two or three as referring to the harmony between husband and wife, particularly in abstaining from bodily intercourse to devote themselves to prayer [6]. This understanding highlights the value of mutual agreement and cooperation in prayer within the marital relationship.
According to the Reformed tradition, as represented by John Calvin, the mutual support and care that spouses offer each other is an expression of their shared faith and commitment to God. Calvin notes that believers should be prepared to communicate with each other and support one another, and that marriage is a key aspect of this mutual care [5].
The Catholic tradition, as articulated by Thomas Aquinas, views marriage as a sacrament that encompasses not only the union of spouses but also their mutual support and sanctification. Aquinas argues that the sacrament of marriage is the most excellent of the marriage goods, as it pertains to marriage considered as a sacrament of grace [8].
In the Jewish tradition, Maimonides' Mishneh Torah emphasizes the importance of modesty and privacy in marital relations, cautioning against licentious behavior within or outside of marriage. This teaching underscores the value of cultivating a virtuous and respectful attitude within the marital relationship [9].
The practice of praying together can help couples cultivate a deeper sense of unity, harmony, and spiritual intimacy. By doing so, they can strengthen their bond and foster a more profound connection with each other and with God. As the patristic tradition suggests, praying together can be a powerful means of overcoming challenges and deepening one's faith [7].
The biblical foundation for praying together in marriage is reinforced by the understanding that prayer is a form of converse with God, involving direct address and communion with Him [4]. When couples pray together, they participate in this divine conversation, seeking God's guidance, wisdom, and blessing for their relationship.
Sources
- I Peter “I Peter 3:7 (LITV) — Likewise, husbands, dwelling together according to knowledge, as with a weaker vessel, the female, bestowing honor, as truly being co-heirs of the grace of life, not cutting off your prayers.”
- Ephesians “speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs; singing, and making melody in your heart to the Lord; -- Ephesians 5:19”
- King James Version “[KJV] 1 Peter 3:7 — Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”
- Easton's Bible Dictionary “Easton's Bible Dictionary: Prayer — Is converse with God; the intercourse of the soul with God, not in contemplation or meditation, but in direct address to him. Prayer may be oral or mental, occasional or constant, ejaculatory or formal. It is a "beseeching the Lord" (Ex. 32:11); "pouring out the soul before the Lord" (1 Sam. 1:15); "praying and crying to heaven" (2 Chr. 32:20); "seeking unto God and making supplication" (Job 8:5); "drawing near to God" (Ps. 73:28); "bowing the knees" (Eph. 3:14). Prayer presupposes a belief in the personality of God, his ability and willingness to hold inter”
- CCEL (Reformed) “John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, section 75: we all obtain whatever is good is our common Father ( Mt. 23:9 ), every thing which has been distributed to us we should be prepared to communicate to each other, as far as occasion demands. But if we are thus desirous as we ought, to stretch out our hands and give assistance to each other, there is nothing by which we can more benefit our brethren than by committing them to the care and protection of the best of parents, since if He is propitious and favourable nothing more can be desired. And, indeed, we owe this also to our Fath”
- Schaff ANF/NPNF (Patristic) “ANF Vol 9: Gospel of Peter, Diatessaron, Origen's Commentaries — 2. THE HARMONY OF HUSBAND AND WIFE.: So much then for the more common understanding of the two or three whom the Word exhorts to be in agreement. But now let us also touch upon another interpretation which was uttered by some one of our predecessors, exhorting those who were married to sanctity and purity; for by the two, he says, whom the Word desires to agree on earth, we must understand the husband and wife, who by agreement defraud each other of bodily intercourse that they may give themselves unto prayer;(8) when if they pra”
- Schaff ANF/NPNF (Patristic) “NPNF1 Vol 1: Augustine — Confessions, Letters — CHAP. XV.--28. There is therefore in us a certain learned ignorance, so to speak--an ignorance which we learn from that Spirit of God who helps our infirmities. For after the apostle said, "If we hope (part 1): CHAP. XVI. -- 29. Considering all these things, and whatever else the Lord shall have made known to you in this matter, which either does not occur to me or would take too much time to state here, strive in prayer to overcome this world: pray in hope, pray in faith, pray in love, pray earnestly and patiently, pray as a widow belonging to C”
- theology (Catholic (Scholastic)) “Aquinas, Summa Theologica, Supplement (Supplementum), Of the Marriage Goods, Art. 3: Article: Whether the sacrament is the chief of the marriage goods? I answer that, This or that may be more important to a thing in two ways, either because it is more essential or because it is more excellent. If the reason is because it is more excellent, then "sacrament" is in every way the most important of the three marriage goods, since it belongs to marriage considered as a sacrament of grace; while the other two belong to it as an office of nature; and a perfection of grace is more excellent than a perf”
- Mishneh Torah (Maimonides) (Jewish (Rabbinic)) “Mishneh Torah (Maimonides), Mishneh Torah%2C Forbidden Intercourse 21:14: It is forbidden for a man to engage in relations with his wife in the marketplaces, streets, gardens, or orchards. Instead, [a couple should be physically intimate] only in a home, so that they will not appear as licentious relations and will not habituate themselves to licentious relations. 43 For surrendering oneself to one's desires without control within the context of marriage may lead one to surrender oneself to one's desires outside the context of marriage. When a man engages in relations with his wife in such pla”