Purity in Romantic Interactions and Christian Dating Practices
Christian dating practices emphasize purity, which is understood as a commitment to holiness in all aspects of life, particularly in romantic interactions [3]. This concept of purity extends beyond mere physical abstinence to encompass thoughts, words, and actions, reflecting a broader call to live in a manner pleasing to God [2, 3].
The New Testament frequently addresses the importance of sexual purity. For instance, 1 Thessalonians 4:3 states that "God’s will is for you to be holy," and this holiness specifically includes "staying away from sexual sin (Greek porneia, any sexual union outside marriage)" [3]. This teaching underscores that the foundation of Christian ethics is not philosophical speculation but adherence to God's will [3]. Similarly, 1 Timothy 5:2 encourages respectful treatment of the opposite sex to promote purity [1].
Purity in romantic relationships is also linked to the broader Christian understanding of love and respect. The "holy kiss" mentioned in various New Testament passages (e.g., Romans 16:16, 1 Peter 5:14, 1 Corinthians 16:20) was a token of friendship and peace among early Christians, signifying love and holiness [6, 8]. This practice was distinct from anything "lascivious and impure," instead expressing genuine affection and sincerity [4].
Within marriage, purity involves mutual respect and consideration of a spouse's sexual needs, with sexual intimacy being a right for both partners that should not be withheld [7]. The book of Proverbs also uses imagery like "the loving hind and pleasant roe" to describe the ideal of a chaste, pure, and fervent love within marriage [5]. This highlights that purity is not merely about avoiding sin but also about cultivating a loving and devoted relationship.
Sources
- 1 Timothy (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on 1 Timothy 5:2: with all purity--respectful treatment of the other sex will promote "purity."”
- Philippians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Philippians 4:8: Summary of all his exhortations as to relative duties, whether as children or parents, husbands or wives, friends, neighbors, men in the intercourse of the world, &c. true--sincere, in words. honest--Old English for "seemly," namely, in action; literally, grave, dignified. just--towards others. pure--"chaste," in relation to ourselves. lovely--lovable (compare Mar 10:21; Luk 7:4-5). of good report--referring to the absent (Phi 1:27); as "lovely" refers to what is lovable face to face. if there be any virtue--"whatever virtue there is"”
- 1 Thessalonians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Thessalonians 4:3: 4:3 God’s will is for you to be holy: The foundation of Christian ethics is not philosophical speculation about virtue but doing God’s will (Rom 12:1-2; Eph 6:6; Heb 10:36; 13:20-21). Holiness (1 Thes 4:4, 7) embraces all of a person’s life (5:23); here it involves staying away from sexual sin (Greek porneia, any sexual union outside marriage).”
- 1 Peter (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on 1 Peter 5:13: Greet ye one another with a kiss of charity,.... The Vulgate Latin, Syriac, and Arabic versions read, "with an holy kiss"; and so some copies, as in Rom 16:16 and elsewhere; See Gill on Rom 16:16; and intends such a kiss, as is not only opposite to everything that is lascivious and impure, but is expressive of true love and affection, and is hearty and sincere: and such a love the Jews call, as the apostle does here, , "a kiss of love" (i); for as Philo the Jew (k) observes, a kiss and love differ, the one may be without the other, a mere compliment, a show of friend”
- Proverbs (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Proverbs 5:19: Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe,.... That is, the wife of youth; let her always appear to thee as amiable and lovely as these creatures are; or let her be loved by thee as these are by princes and great men (w), who used to keep them tame, keep them clean, wash, comb them, and adorn them, and play with them; or rather, as these creatures are loving to their mates, let thy love be single, chaste, pure, and fervent, as theirs; see Sol 2:9. The pure church of Christ is very different from the apostate church of Rome; the one is compared to a loving and l”
- 1 Corinthians (Methodist/Wesleyan) “Adam Clarke on 1 Corinthians 16:20: With a holy kiss - The ancient patriarchs, and the Jews in general, were accustomed to kiss each other whenever they met; and this was a token of friendship and peace with them, as shaking of hands is with us. The primitive Christians naturally followed this example of the Jews. See the note on Rom 16:16.”
- 1 Corinthians (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on 1 Corinthians 7:3: 7:3-4 Because of the temptation to sexual immorality, married Christians must always be considerate of the sexual needs of their spouses. Sexual intimacy is a mutual right for both spouses in a marriage and must not be withheld. Marriage includes yielding the authority over one’s body to one’s spouse, though such authority is clearly not to be abused.”
- 1 Peter (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on 1 Peter 5:14: kiss of charity-- Rom 16:16, "an holy kiss": the token of love to God and the brethren. Love and holiness are inseparable. Compare the instance, Act 20:37. Peace--Peter's closing salutation; as Paul's is, "Grace be with you," though he accompanies it with "peace be to the brethren." "Peace" (flowing from salvation) was Christ's own salutation after the resurrection, and from Him Peter derives it. be with you all that are in Christ Jesus--The oldest manuscripts omit "Jesus." In Eph 6:24, addressed to the same region, the same limitation of the salu”