Navigating Pornography in Marriage with Hope and Healing
Marriage is presented in scripture as a covenant relationship, often symbolizing the bond between God and his people [1, 3]. This divine covenant is established despite human failings, not because of human character [1, 3]. The well-being of both domestic life and the broader civil community depends on the moral order of marriage, which is founded on fidelity and chastity [5].
The Bible frequently uses the imagery of marriage to represent the relationship between Christ and the Church. For instance, the propagation of the Church from Christ, much like Eve's creation from Adam, forms the basis of this spiritual marriage [2]. Christ "left the Father's bosom to woo to Himself the Church out of a lost world," which is the deeper meaning behind the natural marriage where a man leaves his parents to be joined to his wife [2].
Pornography, as a form of sexual immorality, directly violates the principles of fidelity and chastity central to marriage. The apostle Paul, in 1 Timothy, addresses issues related to sexual passion and idleness, recommending marriage as an antidote to such temptations for younger widows [4]. This suggests that marriage is intended to provide a context for sexual expression that guards against unchastity. The Old Testament also emphasizes the importance of marital fidelity, with passages in Deuteronomy outlining laws designed to protect the chastity of a woman entering marriage and to secure the institution against "outbreaks of malice and evil lust" [5]. Malachi condemns treachery against "the wife of thy youth," emphasizing her status as a companion and "the wife of thy covenant" [8].
The New Testament further clarifies that marriage is honorable and pure, though it does not inherently grant holiness. Instead, it preserves the holiness that comes from faith by forbidding union with a harlot [7]. John Chrysostom notes that marriage is "pure," but its primary role in relation to holiness is to prevent the defilement of the holiness already received through faith [7]. He cites Paul's warning in Corinthians against various forms of sexual sin, including fornication and adultery, stating that those who engage in such acts "shall not see the Lord" [7].
The fall introduced an element of antagonism into the marriage relationship, where it was once characterized by security and fulfillment [6]. Genesis 3:16 describes a judgment where the woman would desire to control her husband, but he would rule over her [6]. However, new life in Christ offers the possibility of restoring the marriage relationship, as seen in Ephesians 5:18-32, which encourages mutual submission and love within marriage [6]. This restoration implies a departure from behaviors that introduce antagonism or defilement, such as engaging with pornography.
The symbolism of adultery in the Bible consistently represents spiritual unfaithfulness to God [1, 3]. Just as God remains faithful to his covenant people despite their unfaithfulness, the expectation within marriage is for fidelity. The presence of pornography can be seen as a form of unfaithfulness that damages the covenantal bond within marriage, mirroring the spiritual unfaithfulness that grieves God.
Sources
- Ezek (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ezek 23:4: 23:4 Marriage is commonly used in the Bible as a symbol for the covenant relationship between God and his people (e.g., Isa 54:1-8; Eph 5:22-33). Adultery symbolizes Israel’s spiritual unfaithfulness (e.g., Hos 1–3). God makes his covenants in spite of, not because of, his people’s character (Rom 5:6-11).”
- Ephesians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on Ephesians 5:31: For--The propagation of the Church from Christ, as that of Eve from Adam, is the foundation of the spiritual marriage. The natural marriage, wherein "a man leaves father and mother (the oldest manuscripts omit 'his') and is joined unto his wife," is not the principal thing meant here, but the spiritual marriage represented by it, and on which it rests, whereby Christ left the Father's bosom to woo to Himself the Church out of a lost world: Eph 5:32 proves this: His earthly mother as such, also, He holds in secondary account as compared with His spir”
- Ezekiel (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Ezekiel 23:4: 23:4 Marriage is commonly used in the Bible as a symbol for the covenant relationship between God and his people (e.g., Isa 54:1-8; Eph 5:22-33). Adultery symbolizes Israel’s spiritual unfaithfulness (e.g., Hos 1–3). God makes his covenants in spite of, not because of, his people’s character (Rom 5:6-11).”
- 1 Timothy (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on 1 Timothy 5:14: younger women--rather, as ellipsis ought to be supplied, "the younger widows," namely younger widows in general, as distinguished from the older widows taken on the roll of presbyteresses (Ti1 5:9). The "therefore" means seeing that young widows are exposed to such temptations, "I will," or "desire," &c. (Ti1 5:11-13). The precept here that they should marry again is not inconsistent with Co1 7:40; for the circumstances of the two cases were distinct (compare Co1 7:26). Here remarriage is recommended as an antidote to sexual passion, idleness, and t”
- Deuteronomy (Lutheran) “Keil & Delitzsch on Deuteronomy 22:13: Laws of Chastity and Marriage. - Higher and still holier than the order of nature stands the moral order of marriage, upon which the well-being not only of domestic life, but also of the civil commonwealth of nations, depends. Marriage must be founded upon fidelity and chastity on the part of those who are married. To foster this, and secure it against outbreaks of malice and evil lust, was the design and object of the laws which follow. The first (Deu 22:13-21) relates to the chastity of a woman on entering into the married state, which might be called i”
- Genesis (Protestant academic) “Tyndale House on Genesis 3:16: 3:16 Judgment falls on the woman’s unique role of childbearing and on her relationship with her husband. • And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you: The marriage relationship now included an element of antagonism rather than just security and fulfillment. New life in Christ allows for the restoration of a man and a woman’s marriage relationship (Eph 5:18-32; cp. Matt 20:25-28).”
- CCEL/NPNF (Eastern Orthodox) “John Chrysostom, Homilies on John & Hebrews: “holiness,” but marriage preserves the holiness which [proceeds] from Faith, not permitting union with a harlot. For “marriage is honorable” ( c. xiii. 4 ), not holy. Marriage is pure: it does not however also give holiness, except by forbidding the defilement of that [holiness] which has been given by our Faith. “Without which” (he says) “no man shall see the Lord.” Which he also says in the [Epistle] to the Corinthians. “Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor adulterers, nor idolaters, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor”
- Malachi (Lutheran) “Keil & Delitzsch on Malachi 2:13: Mal 2:13. "And this ye do a second time: cover the altar of Jehovah with tears, with weeping and signs, so that He does not turn any more to the sacrifice, and accept the well-pleasing thing at your hand. Mal 2:14. And ye say, Wherefore? Because Jehovah has been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, towards whom thou hast acted treacherously; whereas she is nevertheless thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. Mal 2:15. And not one did so who had still a remnant of spirit. And what (did) the one? He sought seed of God. Therefore shall ye take hee”