Prioritizing God's Glory in Christian Courtship Practices
Prioritizing God's glory in Christian courtship practices means approaching relationships with the ultimate aim of honoring God, rather than focusing solely on personal fulfillment or worldly desires. This perspective is rooted in the biblical understanding that all aspects of a believer's life should be directed toward God's praise [4].
The concept of God's glory is central to Christian theology. God is worthy of praise due to His majesty, glory, excellency, greatness, holiness, wisdom, power, goodness, and mercy [4]. The earth is to be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord, particularly the glory of Jesus Christ as the Son of God and Mediator [10]. God takes delight in receiving glory from His people, even though He needs nothing from them [8]. This pursuit of God's glory is not limited to specific religious acts but extends to all areas of life, including personal relationships.
In Christian courtship, prioritizing God's glory involves several key principles:
Supremacy of Affections for God: Believers are called to set their affections supremely upon God, above all else [2]. This means that the desire for a spouse, while natural, should not overshadow or compete with one's love for God. Christ claims the first place in one's affections, and true love for God is enkindled through communion with Christ [2]. This foundational love for God shapes how one approaches and conducts courtship, ensuring that the relationship remains God-centered.
Humility and Diligence: Humility is necessary for the service of God and is a characteristic of saints [3]. In courtship, humility means acknowledging God's sovereignty and seeking His will rather than relying solely on one's own understanding or desires. Diligence is also required in seeking God, obeying Him, and striving for perfection [1]. This diligence extends to the careful and prayerful consideration of a potential partner, seeking God's guidance throughout the process.
Seeking God's Will: The pursuit of God's glory in courtship implies a commitment to discerning and following God's will for one's life and relationships. This involves prayer, seeking wisdom from Scripture, and potentially counsel from mature believers. The goal is not merely to find a compatible partner, but to find a partner with whom one can better serve and glorify God.
Avoiding Self-Glory: Jesus questioned how people could believe if they accepted glory from one another but did not seek the glory that comes from God alone [5]. This caution applies to courtship, where the focus should not be on gaining social approval, personal status, or fleeting emotional satisfaction at the expense of God's honor. Instead, the relationship should be built on a foundation that reflects God's goodness and grace [7].
Mutual Edification and Spiritual Growth: A courtship that prioritizes God's glory will foster mutual spiritual growth. The purpose of Christian relationships, including courtship, is to encourage one another in faith and obedience. As Matthew Henry notes regarding Colossians 3:1, believers are to set their hearts on heaven and walk closely with God in all instances of evangelical obedience [9]. This applies to how individuals interact during courtship, aiming to build each other up in Christ.
Reflecting God's Loving-Kindness: God's loving-kindness is described as great, excellent, good, marvelous, multitudinous, and everlasting [6]. It is through Christ that this loving-kindness is extended to believers [6]. In courtship, individuals are called to reflect this loving-kindness in their interactions, demonstrating patience, grace, and sacrificial love. John Gill, commenting on 1 John 4:19, emphasizes that human love for God and for one another stems from God's prior love for humanity [12]. This divine love serves as the model for how Christians should love in courtship.
The concept of "godly jealousy" mentioned by Jamieson, Fausset & Brown in relation to 2 Corinthians 11:2 illustrates a zealous care that believers remain faithful to Christ, to whom they are espoused [11]. This spiritual jealousy can be extended to courtship, where the desire is for both individuals to remain wholeheartedly devoted to Christ, ensuring that the relationship itself glorifies Him.
Sources
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Diligence — Christ, an example -- Mr 1:35; Lu 2:49. Required by God in Seeking him. -- 1Ch 22:19; Heb 11:6. Obeying him. -- De 6:17; 11:13. Hearkening to him. -- Isa 55:2. Striving after perfection. -- Php 3:13,14. Cultivating Christian graces. -- 2Pe 1:5. Keeping the souls. -- De 4:9. Keeping the heart. -- Pr 4:23. Labours of love. -- Heb 6:10-12. Following every good work. -- 1Ti 5:10. Guarding against defilement. -- Heb 12:15. Seeking to be found spotless. -- 2Pe 3:14. Making our call, &c, sure. -- 2Pe 1:10. Self-examination. -- Ps 77:6. Lawful business. -- Pr 27:”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Affections, The — Should be supremely set upon God -- De 6:3; Mr 12:30. Should be set Upon the commandments of God. -- Ps 19:8-10; 119:20,97,103,167. Upon the house and worship of God. -- 1Ch 29:3; Ps 26:8; 27:4; 84:1,2. Upon the people of God. -- Ps 16:3; Ro 12:10; 2Co 7:13-15; 1Th 2:8. Upon heavenly things. -- Col 3:1,2. Should be zealously engaged for God -- Ps 69:9; 119:139; Ga 4:18. Christ claims the first place in -- Mt 10:37; Lu 14:26. Enkindled by communion with Christ -- Lu 24:32. Blessedness of making God the object of -- Ps 91:14. Should not grow cold -- P”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Humility — Necessary to the service of God -- Mic 6:8. Christ an example of -- Mt 11:29; Joh 13:14,15; Php 2:5-8. A characteristic of saints -- Ps 34:2. The who have Regarded by God. -- Ps 138:6; Isa 66:2. Heard by God. -- Ps 9:12; Isa 10:17. Enjoy the presence of God. -- Isa 57:15. Delivered by God. -- Job 22:29. Lifted up by God. -- Jas 4:10. Exalted by God. -- Lu 14:11; 18:14. Are greatest in Christ's kingdom. -- Mt 18:4; 20:26-28. Receive more grace. -- Pr 3:34; Jas 4:6. Upheld by honour. -- Pr 18:12; 29:23. Is before honour -- Pr 15:33. Leads to riches, honour, ”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Praise — God is worthy of -- 2Sa 22:4. Christ is worthy of -- Re 5:12. God is glorified by -- Ps 22:23; 50:23. Offered to Christ -- Joh 12:13. Acceptable through Christ -- Heb 13:15. Is due to God on account of His majesty. -- Ps 96:1,6; Isa 24:14. His glory. -- Ps 138:5; Eze 3:12. His excellency. -- Ex 15:7; Ps 148:13. His greatness. -- 1Ch 16:25; Ps 145:3. His holiness. -- Ex 15:11; Isa 6:3. His wisdom. -- Da 2:20; Jude 1:25. His power. -- Ps 21:13. His goodness. -- Ps 107:8; 118:1; 136:1; Jer 33:11. His mercy. -- 2Ch 20:21; Ps 89:1; 118:1-4; 136:1-26. His loving-k”
- John “John 5:44 (BSB) — How can you believe if you accept glory from one another, yet do not seek the glory that comes from the only God?”
- Torrey's Topical Textbook “Torrey's Topical Textbook: Loving-Kindness of God, The — Is through Christ -- Eph 2:7; Tit 3:4-6. Described as Great. -- Ne 9:17. Excellent. -- Ps 36:7. Good. -- Ps 69:16. Marvellous. -- Ps 17:7; 31:21. Multitudinous. -- Isa 63:7. Everlasting. -- Isa 54:8. Merciful. -- Ps 117:2. Better than life. -- Ps 63:3. Consideration of the dealings of God gives a knowledge of -- Ps 107:43. Saints Betrothed in. -- Ho 2:19. Drawn by. -- Jer 31:3. Preserved by. -- Ps 40:11. Quickened after. -- Ps 119:88. Comforted by. -- Ps 119:76. Look for mercy through. -- Ps 51:1. Receive mercy through. -- Isa 54:8. Are ”
- Ephesians (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Ephesians 1:6: To the praise of the glory of his grace,.... The grace of God manifestly appears in the predestination of men to adoption; in that God had no need of sons, he having a dear and well beloved one; in whom he is well pleased; and in that those he adopts are so unworthy of the relation; and in that men, and not angels, should be taken by him into his family; and that some, and not others of the same race; and that this should be before the world was; and in providing Christ as a Redeemer, to open the way for the reception of this grace and happiness; and in appointing t”
- CCEL/NPNF (Eastern Orthodox) “John Chrysostom, Homilies on Acts & Romans: He obtained this of us He taketh delight therein as one that has glory given him, and proclaimeth it to all though He needeth nothing of ours. This is what, in Abraham’s case for instance, He everywhere does, using these words, “I am the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.” And yet it was they of His household who should have found an honor in this; but now it is the Lord evidently who does this; for this is why He says to Peter, “Lovest thou Me more than these?” ( John xxi. 17 ) to show that He seeketh nothing so much as this from us. For this too He ”
- Colossians (Nonconformist/Puritan) “Matthew Henry on Colossians 3:1: The apostle, having described our privileges by Christ in the former part of the epistle, and our discharge from the yoke of the ceremonial law, comes here to press upon us our duty as inferred thence. Though we are made free from the obligation of the ceremonial law, it does not therefore follow that we may live as we list. We must walk the more closely with God in all the instances of evangelical obedience. He begins with exhorting them to set their hearts on heaven, and take them off from this world: If you then have risen with Christ. It is our privilege th”
- Habakkuk (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on Habakkuk 2:13: For the earth shall be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord,.... Of the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ; of the glory of his person, as the Son of God, and truly God; which is essential to him, and underived; the same with his Father's, and what transcends the glory of all created beings; and of the glory of his office as Mediator, which itself is glorious and honourable: and this his glory lies in his fitness for it; in his faithful performance of it, and the honour given him by his Father upon it; as well as in the fulness of grace in him, which makes”
- 2 Corinthians (Presbyterian) “Jamieson, Fausset & Brown on 2 Corinthians 11:2: For I am jealous--The justification of his self-commendations lies in his zealous care lest they should fall from Christ, to whom he, as "the friend of the Bridegroom" (Joh 3:29), has espoused them; in order to lead them back from the false apostles to Christ, he is obliged to boast as an apostle of Christ, in a way which, but for the motive, would be "folly." godly jealousy--literally, "jealousy of God" (compare Co2 1:12, "godly sincerity," literally, "sincerity of God"). "If I am immoderate, I am immoderate to God" [BENGEL]. A jealousy which”
- 1 John (Baptist/Reformed) “John Gill on 1 John 4:19: We love him, because he first loved us. Lest love to God, and so to one another, should be thought to be of ourselves, and too much be ascribed unto it, the apostle observes, that God's love to us is prior to our love to him; his love is from everlasting, as well as to everlasting; for he loves his people as he does his Son, and he loved him before the foundation of the world; his choosing them in Christ as early, and blessing them then with all spiritual blessings, the covenant of grace made with Christ from all eternity, the gift of grace to them in him before the w”